Tuesday, March 30, 2010

POTUS, Inc.

We weren’t really sure if the Moon was in the seventh house, or if Jupiter was aligned with Mars when the Sun transitioned into Aquarius in January, but what we do know is that a new age began with surprisingly little fanfare and very few outcries from an indignant American public.

Perhaps that’s because there was little the people could do about the decision made behind those closed Supreme Court doors where our nine Justices sequestered themselves away from prying eyes and inquiring human minds. The four judicial voices of dissent who did speak out with some sort of conscience were simply not enough, for ultimately the majority overruled. And the highest court in the land has spoken, with no room for debate.

This unappealable overruling has, for all intents and purposes, removed the constitutional distinction that once separated the human being (previously considered the citizenry and heartbeat of America) from the inorganic corporate entity.

Of course, our Chief Justice was quick to smooth it all over with First Amendment and freedom of speech references by way of attempt to defend the court’s prejudiced activism in deciding to decide on something it wasn’t necessarily even asked to decide on.

Jubilance justifiably overflows for every large corporation of American birth that strategically envisions this landmark ruling to be their special interest way of leveling the playing field, and it isn’t hard to guess whose playing field will be leveled.

So now that the days of hiding behind the corporate veil are over, the big guns can openly come out of the closet with their stockpiles while mobilizing a coordinated invasion of the 2012 presidential elections … and just in time for the Mayan calendar to end. Frankly, we were rendered speechless when we began to envision the impending 2012 electoral process, and just how the American road to rulership might be navigated and capitalized.

We have every reason to believe that the campaign trail will begin predictably with the usual mannerisms: a welcoming gesture of open arms extending toward empty, upturned palms looking to be filled. Few will be shocked when the Party of No begins to briskly change its song to “Yes!Yes!Yes!” with the fevered pitch that only unfettered corporate financing can inspire. The GOP won’t be singing alone, however, for in this joint fund-raising venture, true bipartisanship will prevail like never before.

As the clock starts to wind down on whatever remains of Mother Maverick’s 15 minutes, the GOP will bloat with confidence as it swiftly moves to back a new heavyweight candidate guaranteed to sweep every primary, win the election by a landslide, and then move the Oval Office to the winner’s corporate headquarters in Arkansas.

Decades of successful corporate branding has already placed the familiar name of our next president, “Wally Mart, Inc.” firmly upon the lips of the American population. And Wally Mart, Inc. will deeply touch the hearts of America even further with its sentimental, oldie but goodie campaign slogan: “Uncle Sam Wants You!”
Since Wally Mart, Inc. currently has long standing co-dependent economic arrangements with China, it will logically super-size its campaign platform with class-defining promises of privatizing profits so its corporate comrades can grow richer, and socializing risk so all of the financial burdens can be carried on the hard working backs of the American people. This agenda will not only clear the way to economize by centralizing distribution, it'll create thousands of low paying American jobs, and the masses will be kept so busy producing cheap goods and knock offs that they won’t have time to think about anything other than survival.

Easily locating Wally Mart, Inc.’s corporate charter from 1962 will not only substantiate its American birth, but prove beyond question that the corporation exceeds the Constitutional 35-year age minimum. In the rear view mirror we can see the country being seduced by convincing election commercials romanticizing Wally Mart, Inc.’s humble mid-western beginnings while selling kitsch back in the 1950’s.

As the first corporation to be elected President of the United States (POTUS), Wally Mart, Inc. proudly displays its “Inc.” designation as if it were a PhD. Upon inauguration, Wally Mart, Inc. will undoubtedly take suffragistic steps to grant all corporations the right to vote, whilst proceeding to fill every seat in the House and Senate with corporate America, thereby cutting out the middle man.

It appears the scales of American justice have been unequivocally tipped in favor of the supreme corporation with deep pockets. What's next? Robots take over the world?

Start your own corporation with a marriage license. Say “I do” with our ‘Vice Versa Verses’ December 8, 2009 posting "Wedded Biz”.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Seeing Green

Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!

“Ring of Kerry”. Original oil (5” x 5”).
© Copyright by Artist, KA Collins. To purchase this 'mini', simply visit the artist’s Etsy studio at: http://www.etsy.com/shop/KAStudio. ("Author Links") 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. See for yourself in our ‘In The Rear View Mirror’ December 31, 2009 posting "Avastic New Year".

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Greed Takes A Holiday (DS)

We had a dream……and in that dream we saw Greed standing alone in front of the panoramic window of his imperial penthouse suite perched near the top of The Palm Hotel-Atlantis in Dubai. He gazed out at the glistening Persian Gulf with disconsolation, and tried to shake off the gnawing irritation he felt at the fact that the only palm frond island he could see from his luxurious living room was the Palm Jumeirah.

As Greed stood there, fully saturated in his entitlements, he firmly believed with good reason that only one of anything would simply never be enough. His insatiable heart demanded that he have it all.

And Wall Street was a man after his own heart. Wall Street knew that one of the fastest ways to win the heart of Greed was to bundle up a few derivatives in a red bow, and have them laid on his pillow every evening when his king-sized bed was turned down by the personal maid who never forgot to put that quintessential chocolate crème de menthe on top.

Wall Street owed Greed in a big way for several very banner years, and Wall Street didn’t disappoint when it heartily comped Greed’s recent holiday junket which included an epicurean Celebrity cruise from his doorstep in Dubai to the Cayman Islands for a little tax free R & R.

Our dream followed Greed to the marina where he boarded a cruise ship that looked to be worthy of him, for it was the biggest and best on the Gulf. Few ships sailing the high seas were elite enough to fly the badge of the Red Shield from its flagpole, and the “Black Pearl” was a flagship indeed.

Every level on the ship prominently housed no less than four ATM cash machines, each boldly sponsored by the Big Four banking buddies whose direct lines were stored on Greed’s cell phone speed-dial. He was heartened to see the ATMs on board ship for little could boost the bankers’ bottom line faster than weeks of hefty international cash advance fees assessed upon a full boat of high end cruisers. No doubt a Big Four bank-sponsored Greed-junket was long overdue.

As in life, so in love…..er, lust..... and never to settle for just one of anything, his evenings were filled with gluttonous options; and since Greed was on holiday, he let his southern head do some of the heavy thinking after sundown. At least until the warm currents of the Indian Ocean carried the ship around the Horn of Africa and into the greedy clutches of the Somalian pirates.

Well, that Red Shield luxury liner may’ve been too rich for the pirates to pass up, but by the time Greed finished dissecting their bottom line calculations and made it known that his cut wasn’t big enough, the pirates couldn’t release his ship fast enough. It seems the only real difference that exists between Greed and the Somali pirates is that Greed doesn’t bother to take hostages. Yet his tentacles are far reaching and equal opportunity abounds.

And then we woke up and wondered if Bernie (see definition below) ever dreamed about outliving his wife Ruth and making Greed the sole beneficiary in his will.

So when Greed comes knocking on your door looking for more, will he be turned away in earnest or will he receive the red carpet treatment he expects?

As the masses move to survive, the Greedy secretly move their assets. Follow the money in our ‘In The Rear View Mirror’ April 13, 2009 posting "Greed Goes Underground”.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Seeing Double

That annual day of love affectionately known half the world over as Valentine’s Day saw the other half of the globe celebrating the Lunar New Year as it ushered in the "Year of the Tiger" with hopes of good fortune. All of this luck in love hoopla gave us pause to wonder what lovers and tigers could possibly have in common.

It’s said that the Year of the Iron Tiger (or is that the “9-Iron Tiger”?) will keep away the three main tragedies of any household, and we can only surmise those averted tragedies would include something like NOT:

1) carelessly driving the family SUV into a tree at the end of the driveway in the wee hours of Thanksgiving night;

2) discovering extracurricular texts and phone calls from strange women on your husband’s cell phone; and

3) being forced to fend off a paparazzi feeding frenzy.

In with the Tiger also comes the superstitious belief that the year won’t be a good one for getting married. No one probably knows this better than the Arab ambassador who was treated to a cross-eyed view of marriage on his wedding day in Cairo a couple of weeks ago. We assume the bearded bride didn’t marry a hairless man, and there was obviously only room for one beard in that household. After Mr. Ambassador cried foul and obtained a hasty annulment, all we could see in the rear view mirror was burning rubber when he hotfooted out of town with no booty in the back.

Mr. Ambassador’s desire to have it both ways evidently backfired when the truth was unveiled, much to his (very public) humiliation. The discarded wife, however, incontestably landed on her feet financially thanks to his $136,000 endowment. Perhaps the Lunar New Year should’ve been called the Year of the Tigress instead.

The anthropology deeply nestled within the species homo sapien has proven itself to be hard wired into the most basic male-female interchange. Few would argue that the human male tends to gravitate towards visually attractive women who can reproduce, just as the female tends to gravitate towards strong men who can provide and protect. While the delicate balance of power between the genders has been historically lopsided in favor of the dominant male, it appears the pendulum has begun to swing in the direction of the educated female.

And it looks as if this shift is about to give new meaning to the phrase “double standard”.

As the economic advantages once commanded by men continues to decline in favor of breadwinning women, traditional roles have logically begun to alter as well. Yet somewhere within this shift in financial power percolates a healthy opportunity to incorporate these evolving standards and redefine the contributions each partner is expected to make to the partnership.

Replacing some of that old anthropological hard wiring has undeniably shown itself to be a challenge for today’s men and women as they both struggle to find a new normal in contemporary society. How then will the institution of marriage ultimately be redefined, and will it stand the test of time? 
 
Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free? ‘Vice Versa Verses’ December 8, 2009 posting "Wedded Biz”.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Mount Olympus Chariot Sale (DS)

We had a dream……and in that dream we saw NBC Titan Jeff Zucker make the power play of a lifetime when he contrived to buy out Zeus, the King of the Gods himself, and purchase the right to sit upon that mighty throne perched high atop Mount Olympus.
Mr. Zucker’s strategic calculations reinforced his empirical belief that buying an Olympic kingdom wasn’t going to be cheap. Fortunately for Zucker, however, the Roman emperors of yesteryear had generously provided an historic sampling of time-tested tactics on how to successfully secure popular opinion with just a few celebratory games.

So when this Titan doled out $2 billion for the exclusive rights to televise the international athletic games played in honor of Zeus, it was simply a means to an end. And a little pre-games warm up didn’t hurt in priming the power pump either.

We followed along in dreamy disbelief as J.Z. preemptively engineered the thundering clash between late night television Titans, Conan O’Brien and Jay Leno. In the end, Mr. Z firmly established his incontestable reign as the Peacock King when he churlishly swept Conan away with a $45 million granite curling stone and tossed him deep into Tartarus until September.

While Zeus and Zucker were battling through the hard core negotiations about who’d be king of the mountain, we watched as the other gods quickly took advantage of the distraction and did some mischief-making of their own with the athletic pawns on the ground.

No one enjoys revelry and merry-making more than the god of parties, Dionysus. Dionysus understandably felt a special kinship with Bode Miller, and made sure that the bad boy of skiing got to party and socialize at an Olympic level. Any media backlash from his boy Bode’s off course antics would be synchronistically timed to end with the Big Bang.

The divine support offered up to Lindsey Vonn by the goddess of victory, Nike, seemed undeniable. That “Sports Illustrated” cover jinx may have made her a target like Chiron for the poisonous arrow of Hercules, but if Nike wanted to prolong Lindsey's pre-race healing time by messing with the weather a little, then so be it.

As we followed the Olympic flame on its time honored pilgrimage to the winter games in Vancouver, we wondered whether or not the Peacock King would capriciously torch the Olympic broadcasts altogether and replace them with reruns of “The Tonight Show” just because he could.

And then we woke up and thought that maybe the gods knew what they were doing when they created an honorary position for Stephen Colbert on the Olympic sports psychology team. Someone has to keep us laughing, and it won’t be Conan.

But what we really want to know is who will be king of the mountain and take home the gold?

Win popular opinion the Roman way in our ‘Dream Sequence’ September 27, 2009 posting "Rise of the Global Republic”.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Walled Off (DS)

We had a dream……and in that dream we took our need to know to a new level when we initiated a Google internet search on the subject of ‘CHINA’. Given the recent rumblings relative to China’s economic seduction of the international investor heavyweights, it seemed a little prudence and due diligence might be in order before taking our currency on a cruise up the ¥angtze River with the big boys.
Accustomed to receiving an uninhibited flow of information at the speed of now, we were predictably confounded when our Google search yielded nothing but a blank white page. And no matter how many times we hit the ‘refresh’ button and blinked our eyes in disbelief, it was undeniable - a blank page was all we were going to get.
Clearly we’d hit a wall and this raised a big red flag .

What we already knew (without the benefit of a Google search) was that the world at large has long considered the Great Wall of China to be one of the wonders of the world, yet our dreamtime search results drove us straight into what many are now calling the Great Firewall of China. Erected upon an onerous and non-negotiable platform of cyberspace censorship, evidently this Great Firewall is so towering that China’s own Olympic hurdle jumper, Liu Xiang, isn't even able to make the great leap forward and over the top.

For centuries the old proverb “knowledge is power” has historically encouraged those in the know to wisely acquire (and share) vast knowledge with the promise of power as a dangled payoff. While this belief system may still prove viable, or perhaps produce the necessary credentials for some spheres of influence, the 21st century adaptation of this old philosophy seems to be more akin to “money is power”.

So as we sit back and watch China overtake Japan as the world’s 2nd biggest economy, we can only remind ourselves that information imperialism not only owns our debt, but someone has to keep Wal-Mart in business.

We couldn’t sit back and watch for long, however, because something was rotten in the state of our world close to home. And the stench was so foul, even pinching our nostrils shut proved futile against the pungent sulfuric fumes that reeked of rotten eggs and threatened to overtake us. Frankly we weren’t sure what smelled worse - the corrosive gases seeping from the toxic drywall lining the walls of our home, or the doggie doo in the backyard laced with remnants of the plastic fillers that had been covertly baked into the dog’s food.

As if the assault on our nose wasn’t bad enough, this dream-now-nightmare directed our eyes to the innumerable infants who were innocently consuming formula mixed from tainted milk powder while snuggled warmly in their highly flammable jumpers. Then on to the toddlers and children who were adorned in dainty jewelry cast out of cadmium while playing in a trance on the floor with toys painted in the vibrant colors only a lead palette can produce. The colors of those toys were almost as brilliant as the countless tubes of lipstick and eye shadow compacts we saw filling bathroom drawers everywhere.

We briefly considered taking a couple of Tylenols for the headache we'd gotten from the toxic drywall fumes, but figured it too was probably made in China.

And then we woke up with a headache and wondered if Confucius ever said, “Don’t be evil”.

As China continues to shroud its Great Wall in smoke and mirrors while agressively maximizing short term profits with cheap knock offs and actions that harm humanity and kill healthy competition, we are wont to ask who’s keeping it in busness?

Show the world your best side with our ‘In The Rear View Mirror’ January 12, 2009 posting "Looking The Part”.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Looking The Part

2009’s last call had us optimistically humming Auld Lang Syne right along with the other merrymakers who also couldn’t afford to attend Tavern on the Green’s last supper. When the clock chimed in at midnight, we briskly donned our 3-D glasses looking for an exclusive preview of the year 2010 from the land of the beautiful people.

Those first impressions overpowered our senses with panoramic images so vibrant and aesthetically alluring, we were momentarily convinced that perfection was attainable. Although the sweeping images were specifically designed to entice on the surface, we realized upon second glance that they were in fact highly flawed, for they were either flush with gaping holes formerly plumped up with body parts, or sprouting extra parts like Lakshmi with add-ons.

Nothing was as it seemed, and evidently nothing can make the unattainable attainable faster than the magic wand of photoshop.

Peering in the rear view mirror allowed us to reflect upon a time when skilled artisans offered up credible representations of life in the real world. Whether these representations were designed with fabric to be worn as fashion, or masterfully painted on canvas as a depiction of emerging social modulations, or memorialized through the lens of a camera; the imagery was authentic and the camera never lied.

In the process of immortalizing the life and times around them, artistic historians have oftentimes been called visionary, even ahead of their time. And while Salvador Dali may’ve been considered ahead of his time during the 1930’s, we’re pretty sure he never expected one modern day interpretation of his “Soft Construction with Boiled Beans (Premonition of Civil War)” to include the place where body parts become art after they’ve been photoshop cropped in the hasty pursuit of manipulated perfection.


Civilization overall has gleaned innumerable advantages from the technological advancements of the last decade, and nothing quenches the inherent human need for instant gratification faster than output with a keystroke. Unfortunately something is lost in this pursuit of instant outcome, and the experienced would call it quality.

There are those who maintain “life is a journey, not a destination”. This philosophical expression seems to suggest that life’s greatest value is realized through an accumulation of experiences that stimulate internal growth and development, and not in the concluding moments at final breath. The scientific community apparently concurs with a comparable axiom of its own in “the joy of physics isn’t in the results, but in the search itself”.

We call this process vs. product, or perhaps just another way to extol the virtues of learning long division.

Today’s technology has made readily available the tools necessary to efficiently manipulate our external mask to conform in a click with the fickle and fleeting version of what is considered desirable in the eyes of advertisers. Whether it be unrealistic or physically unattainable is irrelevant because within a smartphone lies the power to virtually redefine reality and create an alternate world of our own design that is inhabited by fantastic representations of our alter ego.

Yet no matter how much we virtually alter our reality, certain truths remain self evident, namely "where ever you go, there you are".

As instant product output continues to override the patient investment true quality demands, can it be that quality too is in the process of being virtually redefined?


Extra parts for sale in our ‘Dream Sequence’ August 7, 2009 posting "Ticker Trade”.
www.InTheRearViewMirror.com

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Avatastic New Year!

See the world virtually change before your very eyes with a pair of 3-D glasses and a little alter ego shape shifting. Thrive in 2010. Happy New Year!

“Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder”. Original watercolor/pen and ink.
© Copyright by Artist, KA Collins. For more information concerning the artwork, contact KA directly at http://www.artistkacollins.net/. (Author Links)

Create your own reality or let Bosch do it for you like he did in our ‘Dream Sequence’ November 29, 2009 posting "The Art of Reality”.
www.InTheRearViewMirror.com