Seeing Double

That annual day of love affectionately known half the world over as Valentine’s Day saw the other half of the globe celebrating the Lunar New Year as it ushered in the "Year of the Tiger" with hopes of good fortune. All of this luck in love hoopla gave us pause to wonder what lovers and tigers could possibly have in common.

It’s said that the Year of the Iron Tiger (or is that the “9-Iron Tiger”?) will keep away the three main tragedies of any household, and we can only surmise those averted tragedies would include something like NOT:

1) carelessly driving the family SUV into a tree at the end of the driveway in the wee hours of Thanksgiving night;

2) discovering extracurricular texts and phone calls from strange women on your husband’s cell phone; and

3) being forced to fend off a paparazzi feeding frenzy.

In with the Tiger also comes the superstitious belief that the year won’t be a good one for getting married. No one probably knows this better than the Arab ambassador who was treated to a cross-eyed view of marriage on his wedding day in Cairo a couple of weeks ago. We assume the bearded bride didn’t marry a hairless man, and there was obviously only room for one beard in that household. After Mr. Ambassador cried foul and obtained a hasty annulment, all we could see in the rear view mirror was burning rubber when he hotfooted out of town with no booty in the back.

Mr. Ambassador’s desire to have it both ways evidently backfired when the truth was unveiled, much to his (very public) humiliation. The discarded wife, however, incontestably landed on her feet financially thanks to his $136,000 endowment. Perhaps the Lunar New Year should’ve been called the Year of the Tigress instead.

The anthropology deeply nestled within the species homo sapien has proven itself to be hard wired into the most basic male-female interchange. Few would argue that the human male tends to gravitate towards visually attractive women who can reproduce, just as the female tends to gravitate towards strong men who can provide and protect. While the delicate balance of power between the genders has been historically lopsided in favor of the dominant male, it appears the pendulum has begun to swing in the direction of the educated female.

And it looks as if this shift is about to give new meaning to the phrase “double standard”.

As the economic advantages once commanded by men continues to decline in favor of breadwinning women, traditional roles have logically begun to alter as well. Yet somewhere within this shift in financial power percolates a healthy opportunity to incorporate these evolving standards and redefine the contributions each partner is expected to make to the partnership.

Replacing some of that old anthropological hard wiring has undeniably shown itself to be a challenge for today’s men and women as they both struggle to find a new normal in contemporary society. How then will the institution of marriage ultimately be redefined, and will it stand the test of time? 

 

Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free? ‘Vice Versa Verses’ December 8, 2009 posting "Wedded Biz”.

Mount Olympus Chariot Sale (DS)

We had a dream……and in that dream we saw NBC Titan Jeff Zucker make the power play of a lifetime when he contrived to buy out Zeus, the King of the Gods himself, and purchase the right to sit upon that mighty throne perched high atop Mount Olympus.

Mr. Zucker’s strategic calculations reinforced his empirical belief that buying an Olympic kingdom wasn’t going to be cheap. Fortunately for Zucker, however, the Roman emperors of yesteryear had generously provided an historic sampling of time-tested tactics on how to successfully secure popular opinion with just a few celebratory games.

So when this Titan doled out $2 billion for the exclusive rights to televise the international athletic games played in honor of Zeus, it was simply a means to an end. And a little pre-games warm up didn’t hurt in priming the power pump either.

We followed along in dreamy disbelief as J.Z. preemptively engineered the thundering clash between late night television Titans, Conan O’Brien and Jay Leno. In the end, Mr. Z firmly established his incontestable reign as the Peacock King when he churlishly swept Conan away with a $45 million granite curling stone and tossed him deep into Tartarus until September.

While Zeus and Zucker were battling through the hard core negotiations about who’d be king of the mountain, we watched as the other gods quickly took advantage of the distraction and did some mischief-making of their own with the athletic pawns on the ground.

No one enjoys revelry and merry-making more than the god of parties, Dionysus. Dionysus understandably felt a special kinship with Bode Miller, and made sure that the bad boy of skiing got to party and socialize at an Olympic level. Any media backlash from his boy Bode’s off course antics would be synchronistically timed to end with the Big Bang.

The divine support offered up to Lindsey Vonn by the goddess of victory, Nike, seemed undeniable. That “Sports Illustrated” cover jinx may have made her a target like Chiron for the poisonous arrow of Hercules, but if Nike wanted to prolong Lindsey's pre-race healing time by messing with the weather a little, then so be it.

As we followed the Olympic flame on its time honored pilgrimage to the winter games in Vancouver, we wondered whether or not the Peacock King would capriciously torch the Olympic broadcasts altogether and replace them with reruns of “The Tonight Show” just because he could.

And then we woke up and thought that maybe the gods knew what they were doing when they created an honorary position for Stephen Colbert on the Olympic sports psychology team. Someone has to keep us laughing, and it won’t be Conan.

But what we really want to know is who will be king of the mountain and take home the gold?

Win popular opinion the Roman way in our ‘Dream Sequence’ September 27, 2009 posting "Rise of the Global Republic”.

Walled Off (DS)

We had a dream……and in that dream we took our need to know to a new level when we initiated a Google internet search on the subject of ‘CHINA’. Given the recent rumblings relative to China’s economic seduction of the international investor heavyweights, it seemed a little prudence and due diligence might be in order before taking our currency on a cruise up the ¥angtze River with the big boys.
Accustomed to receiving an uninhibited flow of information at the speed of now, we were predictably confounded when our Google search yielded nothing but a blank white page. And no matter how many times we hit the ‘refresh’ button and blinked our eyes in disbelief, it was undeniable - a blank page was all we were going to get.

Clearly we’d hit a wall and this raised a big red flag .

What we already knew (without the benefit of a Google search) was that the world at large has long considered the Great Wall of China to be one of the wonders of the world, yet our dreamtime search results drove us straight into what many are now calling the Great Firewall of China. Erected upon an onerous and non-negotiable platform of cyberspace censorship, evidently this Great Firewall is so towering that China’s own Olympic hurdle jumper, Liu Xiang, isn't even able to make the great leap forward and over the top.

For centuries the old proverb “knowledge is power” has historically encouraged those in the know to wisely acquire (and share) vast knowledge with the promise of power as a dangled payoff. While this belief system may still prove viable, or perhaps produce the necessary credentials for some spheres of influence, the 21st century adaptation of this old philosophy seems to be more akin to “money is power”.

So as we sit back and watch China overtake Japan as the world’s 2nd biggest economy, we can only remind ourselves that information imperialism not only owns our debt, but someone has to keep Wal-Mart in business.

We couldn’t sit back and watch for long, however, because something was rotten in the state of our world close to home. And the stench was so foul, even pinching our nostrils shut proved futile against the pungent sulfuric fumes that reeked of rotten eggs and threatened to overtake us. Frankly we weren’t sure what smelled worse - the corrosive gases seeping from the toxic drywall lining the walls of our home, or the doggie doo in the backyard laced with remnants of the plastic fillers that had been covertly baked into the dog’s food.

As if the assault on our nose wasn’t bad enough, this dream-now-nightmare directed our eyes to the innumerable infants who were innocently consuming formula mixed from tainted milk powder while snuggled warmly in their highly flammable jumpers. Then on to the toddlers and children who were adorned in dainty jewelry cast out of cadmium while playing in a trance on the floor with toys painted in the vibrant colors only a lead palette can produce. The colors of those toys were almost as brilliant as the countless tubes of lipstick and eye shadow compacts we saw filling bathroom drawers everywhere.

We briefly considered taking a couple of Tylenols for the headache we'd gotten from the toxic drywall fumes, but figured it too was probably made in China.

And then we woke up with a headache and wondered if Confucius ever said, “Don’t be evil”.

As China continues to shroud its Great Wall in smoke and mirrors while agressively maximizing short term profits with cheap knock offs and actions that harm humanity and kill healthy competition, we are wont to ask who’s keeping it in busness?

Show the world your best side with our ‘In The Rear View Mirror’ January 12, 2009 posting "Looking The Part”.

Looking The Part

2009’s last call had us optimistically humming Auld Lang Syne right along with the other merrymakers who also couldn’t afford to attend Tavern on the Green’s last supper. When the clock chimed in at midnight, we briskly donned our 3-D glasses looking for an exclusive preview of the year 2010 from the land of the beautiful people.

Those first impressions overpowered our senses with panoramic images so vibrant and aesthetically alluring, we were momentarily convinced that perfection was attainable. Although the sweeping images were specifically designed to entice on the surface, we realized upon second glance that they were in fact highly flawed, for they were either flush with gaping holes formerly plumped up with body parts, or sprouting extra parts like Lakshmi with add-ons.

Nothing was as it seemed, and evidently nothing can make the unattainable attainable faster than the magic wand of photoshop.

Peering in the rear view mirror allowed us to reflect upon a time when skilled artisans offered up credible representations of life in the real world. Whether these representations were designed with fabric to be worn as fashion, or masterfully painted on canvas as a depiction of emerging social modulations, or memorialized through the lens of a camera; the imagery was authentic and the camera never lied.

In the process of immortalizing the life and times around them, artistic historians have oftentimes been called visionary, even ahead of their time. And while Salvador Dali may’ve been considered ahead of his time during the 1930’s, we’re pretty sure he never expected one modern day interpretation of his “Soft Construction with Boiled Beans (Premonition of Civil War)” to include the place where body parts become art after they’ve been photoshop cropped in the hasty pursuit of manipulated perfection.

Civilization overall has gleaned innumerable advantages from the technological advancements of the last decade, and nothing quenches the inherent human need for instant gratification faster than output with a keystroke. Unfortunately something is lost in this pursuit of instant outcome, and the experienced would call it quality.

There are those who maintain “life is a journey, not a destination”. This philosophical expression seems to suggest that life’s greatest value is realized through an accumulation of experiences that stimulate internal growth and development, and not in the concluding moments at final breath. The scientific community apparently concurs with a comparable axiom of its own in “the joy of physics isn’t in the results, but in the search itself”.

We call this process vs. product, or perhaps just another way to extol the virtues of learning long division.

Today’s technology has made readily available the tools necessary to efficiently manipulate our external mask to conform in a click with the fickle and fleeting version of what is considered desirable in the eyes of advertisers. Whether it be unrealistic or physically unattainable is irrelevant because within a smartphone lies the power to virtually redefine reality and create an alternate world of our own design that is inhabited by fantastic representations of our alter ego.

Yet no matter how much we virtually alter our reality, certain truths remain self evident, namely "where ever you go, there you are".

As instant product output continues to override the patient investment true quality demands, can it be that quality too is in the process of being virtually redefined?

Extra parts for sale in our ‘Dream Sequence’ August 7, 2009 posting "Ticker Trade”.
www.InTheRearViewMirror.com

Avatastic New Year!

See the world virtually change before your very eyes with a pair of 3-D glasses and a little alter ego shape shifting. Thrive in 2010. Happy New Year!

“Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder”. Original watercolor/pen and ink.

© Copyright by Artist, KA Collins. For more information concerning the artwork, contact KA directly at http://www.artistkacollins.net/. (Author Links)

Create your own reality or let Bosch do it for you like he did in our ‘Dream Sequence’ November 29, 2009 posting "The Art of Reality”.

www.InTheRearViewMirror.com

Cashing In On COIN

Right about the time Erik Prince of Blackwater-now-Xe was sagaciously graymailing the U.S. government with an exposé in ‘Vanity Fair’, and Osama Bin Laden was shrewdly recruiting a fresh round of terrorists from American soil, we were furiously working at our laptops hunting the internet for some practical financial advice in a feeble attempt at damage control as the economy continues its slippery downward slope.

Following a trail of click-through links, we inadvertently stumbled upon a website that resembled an online scavenger hunt called “Find the COIN”.

They say the best place to hide something is in plain sight, and “Find the COIN” was clearly counting on it. First glance gave the impression of top secret encrypted access only, yet we were able to navigate the user-friendly site with the ease customary of any other public domain. It took only minutes to discover that the two adversaries pitted against each other in this virtual scavenger hunt were none other than Erik Prince and Osama Bin Laden themselves, using the avatars FLY and CHAMELEON, respectively.

The grand prize was a hunting trip with Dick Cheney while camping with al-Qaeda in the heart of the Swat Valley. Given the scavenger map they had to work with (shown below), it was obvious there could never be a winner.

The site permitted us to seamlessly trace their high-tech/low-tech maneuvers across the scavenger hunt’s mapped out terrain where the opponents’ choreographed war dance was being destructively played out on an expansive international stage - all orchestrated to the beat of technology’s rap song.

The CHAMELEON’s right sided domination of the scavenger map looked to be absolute, as did the FLY’s left handed supremacy. It appeared that CHAMELEON’s strategic preference was the aggressive accumulation of powerful modems and the equipment necessary to post YouTube recruiting promos, instruction videos, and the occasional “catch me if you can” taunts to FLY across his Facebook wall.

The FLY, on the other hand, had left a furious trail of ‘snatch and grab’ tweets posting classified coordinates for strategic assassination targets. More interested in acquiring beefier helicopters than potent modems, FLY seemed intent upon fully implementing his 3-F systematic action plan: FIND the target, FIX the target’s routine and FINISH the target off…all directed, of course, at 3-F-ing CHAMELEON.

A glance in the rear view mirror offered us a crystal ball reflection of the land of Oz as the Wicked Witch of the West cast her sleeping spell upon the expansive poppy fields that blanketed the yellow brick road on the way to the Emerald City. Doubtless few would rush to compare the Helmand province of Afghanistan to the land of Oz, yet few will deny that the road leading out of Helmand’s poppy fields is indubitably made of golden bricks. And somewhere over that rainbow is a pot of gold used to fund world chaos and conflict as the masses close their sleepy eyes to the underlying machinations of the true power brokers.

Deep Throat knew what he was talking about when he urged us to follow the money, for the one who controls the money, is believed to control the world because money makes the world go ‘round. A simplified version of doing the math might look something like this: Money = Power = More Money.

Yes, there will always be plenty of money to be made by the robber barons hard at work sparking civil dissention and provisioning war zones by supplying both sides with what they need to keep the sparks flying. Another thing’s for certain too, there’ll always be a need for an evil Boogey Man antagonist to pit the good against.

World domination through cash control is an ageless game. Wouldn’t then a declaration of war against evil be an illusion that simply makes the rich richer and allows us to feel good about it?

Going stealth can be as easy as changing your name. Guidelines for how to go unnoticed can be found in our ‘In The Rear View Mirror’ February 15, 2009 posting "Catching a Few Xe’s".

http://www.intherearviewmirror.com/

Wedded Biz (VVV)

WEDDED BIZ
©2009 by DK King

Once upon a time
There was the perfect mate.
Society counsels marry,
That means incorporate.
Articles and by-laws
Once duly created,
Form a household compliant,
And lawfully regulated.
Board meets for nuptials recited
As both in agreement converge.
Separate assets become united
In a co-mingled blend ‘n merge.

So before you speak the words “I do”,
You might want to negotiate
The best deal for you.

Commitment phobes,
More risk adverse,
Commit to share space
Without sharing their purse.
Companionship is rendered
By indie entrepreneurs.
No autonomy’s surrendered,
Shared bennies both procures.
Secerning self preservement
Proves a win-win strategy,
For freelancing contractors
Circumventing legality.

So before you speak the words “I do”,
You might want to explore
The options available to you.

Partners opt in one hundred percent,
Position their investments to grow.
C.F.O. recommendation is buy vs. rent
Before delivering an I.P.O.
Celebration returns every fiscal year end
While hopes and dreams are propagated.
Black bottom line with plenty to spend,
Empty bedrooms soon are populated.
Team players busy multitasking,
Fully booked from morning to night,
Fosters synergistic fast tracking
For unions working the system right.

So before you speak the words “I do”,
You might want to hold in reserve
Something solely for you.

Corporations plan for perpetuity,
Redefining “til death do us part”.
Strategic goal is long term security,
As shown on the pension plan pie chart.
Life cycles forth with its ebb and flow,
Branches form a brand name niche.
Years to lay all those ducks in a row,
Not discounting that seven year itch.
Dissolution optional if shareholders split,
“Happily ever after” seems a fairy tale.
The end of the day finds it difficult to quit
When your business is just too big to fail.

So before you speak the words “I do”,
You might want to ask
Is marriage the right business for you?

Alley Cats traditionally have a little business on the side. Perhaps you'll hear one purring a sales pitch in our ‘Vice Versa Verses’ November 4, 2009 posting "Alley Cats".

http://www.intherearviewmirror.com/

The Art of Reality (DS)

We had a dream......and in that dream we found ourselves strolling through the surreal terrain of Dutch renaissance painter H. Bosch in “The Garden of Earthly Delights”, and felt as though we were immersed in a modern reality feature film that only Tim Burton could direct.

Our voyage through this intoxicating dreamscape plunged us without thought of consequence deep into a world of art imitating life imitating art. To a place where we were incapable of separating fact from fantasy, for the reality is that there was no difference.

And like every true pageant of the masters where a two dimensional painting is brought to real life, we watched like voyeurs as the indulgent derangement of earthly pleasures before us morphed into a third panel reality war zone.

The reality wars being waged within our dream were inescapably dominated by the Balloon Boy posse and the D.C. No R.S.V.P. party crashers. We were rendered speechless as both competitors deliberately left in their wake a smoldering third scene battlefield fully decimated by outrageous exploits – all dramatically delivered with the flamboyance required of a successful reality show audition. A couple sets of felonious fingerprints were left behind in the scorched earth as well, with perhaps a couple more to follow.

Apparently in the real world, the end is meant to justify the means. This ostensibly translates for many to mean no rules, no boundaries, no limitations, no dignity and usually no talent. So when we see that big reality bull burst into a stampede through the china closet of innocent bystanders and carelessly shatter lives and livelihoods while screaming “me, me, me!”, we’ve bizarrely come to accept that even bad publicity is still publicity.

Well, psychology 101 has long asserted that negative attention is better than no attention at all. Yet to repetitively reward the bad behavior of attention grabbers with the media attention they're aggressively hungering for has not only helped create a ravenous monster always starving for attention, but has unquestionably sustained it.

As narcissism continues its incessant me-parade across our high definition screens, and Pavlovian conditioning reinforces the belief that anything and everything goes in the insatiable quest for notoriety, we can only wonder when going too far will just be going too far.

And then we woke up and realized that Bosch’s vivid, yet surprisingly realistic, illustration of life’s temptations and the human condition has lost no relevance with the passing of time and civilizations. Can we reasonably expect the master’s real life garden of earthly delights to remain as relevant in the coming centuries as it is today?

15 minutes: too long for reality show media mongers, too short for the truly talented. Spend 15 more minutes reading all about it in our ‘In The Rear View Mirror’ May 12, 2009 posting "The Boyling Point".

http://www.intherearviewmirror.com/