Tuesday, March 30, 2010

POTUS, Inc.

We weren’t really sure if the Moon was in the seventh house, or if Jupiter was aligned with Mars when the Sun transitioned into Aquarius in January, but what we do know is that a new age began with surprisingly little fanfare and very few outcries from an indignant American public.

Perhaps that’s because there was little the people could do about the decision made behind those closed Supreme Court doors where our nine Justices sequestered themselves away from prying eyes and inquiring human minds. The four judicial voices of dissent who did speak out with some sort of conscience were simply not enough, for ultimately the majority overruled. And the highest court in the land has spoken, with no room for debate.

This unappealable overruling has, for all intents and purposes, removed the constitutional distinction that once separated the human being (previously considered the citizenry and heartbeat of America) from the inorganic corporate entity.

Of course, our Chief Justice was quick to smooth it all over with First Amendment and freedom of speech references by way of attempt to defend the court’s prejudiced activism in deciding to decide on something it wasn’t necessarily even asked to decide on.

Jubilance justifiably overflows for every large corporation of American birth that strategically envisions this landmark ruling to be their special interest way of leveling the playing field, and it isn’t hard to guess whose playing field will be leveled.

So now that the days of hiding behind the corporate veil are over, the big guns can openly come out of the closet with their stockpiles while mobilizing a coordinated invasion of the 2012 presidential elections … and just in time for the Mayan calendar to end. Frankly, we were rendered speechless when we began to envision the impending 2012 electoral process, and just how the American road to rulership might be navigated and capitalized.

We have every reason to believe that the campaign trail will begin predictably with the usual mannerisms: a welcoming gesture of open arms extending toward empty, upturned palms looking to be filled. Few will be shocked when the Party of No begins to briskly change its song to “Yes!Yes!Yes!” with the fevered pitch that only unfettered corporate financing can inspire. The GOP won’t be singing alone, however, for in this joint fund-raising venture, true bipartisanship will prevail like never before.

As the clock starts to wind down on whatever remains of Mother Maverick’s 15 minutes, the GOP will bloat with confidence as it swiftly moves to back a new heavyweight candidate guaranteed to sweep every primary, win the election by a landslide, and then move the Oval Office to the winner’s corporate headquarters in Arkansas.

Decades of successful corporate branding has already placed the familiar name of our next president, “Wally Mart, Inc.” firmly upon the lips of the American population. And Wally Mart, Inc. will deeply touch the hearts of America even further with its sentimental, oldie but goodie campaign slogan: “Uncle Sam Wants You!”
Since Wally Mart, Inc. currently has long standing co-dependent economic arrangements with China, it will logically super-size its campaign platform with class-defining promises of privatizing profits so its corporate comrades can grow richer, and socializing risk so all of the financial burdens can be carried on the hard working backs of the American people. This agenda will not only clear the way to economize by centralizing distribution, it'll create thousands of low paying American jobs, and the masses will be kept so busy producing cheap goods and knock offs that they won’t have time to think about anything other than survival.

Easily locating Wally Mart, Inc.’s corporate charter from 1962 will not only substantiate its American birth, but prove beyond question that the corporation exceeds the Constitutional 35-year age minimum. In the rear view mirror we can see the country being seduced by convincing election commercials romanticizing Wally Mart, Inc.’s humble mid-western beginnings while selling kitsch back in the 1950’s.

As the first corporation to be elected President of the United States (POTUS), Wally Mart, Inc. proudly displays its “Inc.” designation as if it were a PhD. Upon inauguration, Wally Mart, Inc. will undoubtedly take suffragistic steps to grant all corporations the right to vote, whilst proceeding to fill every seat in the House and Senate with corporate America, thereby cutting out the middle man.

It appears the scales of American justice have been unequivocally tipped in favor of the supreme corporation with deep pockets. What's next? Robots take over the world?

Start your own corporation with a marriage license. Say “I do” with our ‘Vice Versa Verses’ December 8, 2009 posting "Wedded Biz”.

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