Monday, January 26, 2009

Taking the Bull By the Horns

As the world forlornly entered the "Year of the Bull", the United States inaugurated a new Bull-Ox President in The Big BOPR (see definition below), and it seems the masses have conceded a new plan for steering the old ox cart is destined to enter in with it.

The global balance sheets of today are diametrically opposed to those of the inflated bully days. Devastation abounds and few escaped. Even the big Bull that’d been driving Merrill Lynch got yoked before it finally got lynched.

To look in the rear view mirror is to see how Wall Street eminence and psychopathology are surprisingly interrelated. Any stellar personality profile for the successful Wall Street tycoon apparently must include core character traits consistent with those of a true psychopath - unbridled narcissism, strong sense of entitlement, firm sense of impunity, and lack of remorse, to name a few.

When comparing some commonly observed character traits of Wall Street’s two most recent celebrity headliners, I-ROB and Bernie (see definitions below), we noticed some interesting parallels:

Personality: Cold, icy, emotionally detached, lacking in people skills, some level of charisma

Office Décor: Warm and cozy. Paid $1.22 million to make his office feel more like home.

Personality: Affable, congenial, charismatic, some level of aloofness

Office Décor: Cold, icy, stark, color schemes limited to black, white, and shades of gray. This theme was prevalent throughout his offices in NYC, London and even his private jet.

True to psychopathic form, both of these big boys have systematically implemented comprehensive impression management regimens resulting in carefully cultivated public personas, yet at the same time they're unable to control their varying levels of OCD and control freak attributes.

Our unofficial clinical assessment has classified them overall as a hybrid fusion of LAB-Rat and Moldy Old White Bread (see definitions below).

We got word that X-P “W” didn’t hesitate to forward his moving van up to I-ROB once he was settled back on the ranch. If they could get him out of the White House in 5 hours flat, they could certainly get I-ROB out of his newly renovated, homey little office posthaste. It sure felt good to give back to one of his loyal supporters. Unfortunately a Special Air Mission 28000 free helicopter ride was off limits and not offered with the get-out-of-town-fast benefits package.

The autopsy of 2008 will likely be under way for many decades to come, and undoubtedly traditional business standards and mores will be deeply probed and questioned under the coming post-mortem examination.

As for I-ROB, we won’t hold our breath waiting for his 'mea culpa'. As for his comfy $1.22 million office, it looks like he learned the hard way that you never, ever have an office better than your boss. But what we really want to know is who gets his $1,405 waste basket?

For more about showing the Old Guard the back door, see our ‘In The Rear View Mirror’ November 7, 2008 posting "White House Tenant Served 60-Day Notice to Vacate".

No comments:

Post a Comment

This is where our backseat drivers can give a shout out from the back of the bus.