Sunday, February 15, 2009

Catching a Few Xe’s

It wasn’t until the final hours of Era X-P “W” (see definition below) that we really began to notice the unquestionable symptoms of Bush Flu (see definition below) in those who’d once been considered immune.

We bled dollars as the legislative powers intravenously administered the large cash infusions these untouchables demanded to staunch further dehydration of their formerly fluid bank accounts. And just because we paid for the medical attention they'd felt entitled to receive apparently didn’t mean they believed us mutually entitled to an accounting of how our blood money was spent.

With the recent changing of the Old Guard comes the abrupt realization that economic survival is now demanding that everyone change with it as well, and one look in the rear view mirror at the many faces of Madonna can show us the way. A master of cyclical reinvention and repackaging, Madonna has successfully managed to keep that “Queen of Pop” crown firmly placed upon her head with no end in sight to her reign.

It comes as no surprise then that Cheney’s Iraqi goon squad formerly known as Blackwater has officially changed its name to “Xe” (pronounced “Z”, oh duh). Word on the street is that Erik Prince had consulted with rock ‘n roll Hall of Famer and artist formerly known as Prince before coming up with the new name.

Like many of the old courtiers who so smoothly distanced themselves from the debris of a bygone regime, Blackwater-now-Xe recognized its economic survival demanded they quickly follow Madonna’s lead. Of course, the bear paw logo synonymous with what used to be called Blackwater would go the way of the old name and be immediately replaced with a flaming rapier’s 3-stroke swish reminiscent of Zorro’s “Z”.

Xe didn’t waste one precious 'new name' moment before announcing itself the global one-stop shopping source for world class services in the fields of security, stability, aviation, training and logistics. While they would never publicly admit to their friendly affiliation with ex-VP Cheney, they’ve secretly agreed to give him complimentary target practice since he’ll only have secret service protection until 2019.

Along with the departure of the cash flow once provided by the old regime went Blackwater’s former image and old loyalties. Most of us know that mercenary loyalties will always follow the gold, regardless of where their training facilities are located. So who will be the highest bidder now?

For more Xe-pansion, see our ‘Dream Sequence’ December 7, 2008 posting "Who’s Talking Like a Pirate Now?"

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