Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Who Took Off With the Bank?

Whew! We just barely missed getting all tangled up in 700 tons of racing White Minivans (see definition below) and we’re back on the road. We admit, we’re looking pretty dilapidated right now as we push our gimpy selves further along D.C.’s Donner Pass, but we’ve side-stepped a mighty large collision and we’re feeling a little lucky!

Chugging upward, and determined to reach the apex, nothing could’ve astounded us more than to see four lonely boys looking like Huckleberry Finn standing on the side of the road trying to hitch a ride to the top. Three of the boys stood together holding a large sign which read “BAIL US OUT” while the fourth stood nearby clutching a large piggybank in his right arm like a football. We couldn’t resist the rescue.

They announced themselves while climbing into our back seat. The biggest boy, and the first to get into our car, was “Bad Assets”, then came “ChaseURMoney”, followed by “Won’t Go Far”, and lastly “CitiGombeens”.

Taking pity on their sorry state, we threw them a quarter. We watched those boys in the rear view mirror fight over that quarter as it flew about, slipping between each of their hands like a hot potato, before the biggest boy in the back, Bad Assets, decisively secured the coin. He quickly inserted the quarter into the piggybank’s slot and that’s when it all began….. the piggy’s eyes lit up and started to spin back into its head as the curly tail whirled around and smoke blew out of the hole beneath it. Yikes! That piggy swiftly grew hungry fangs and squealed out a nursery rhyme we’d never heard before to the tune of “Three Blind Mice”:

Four once united, four now divided
See the money grow, see now what they sow
They won the world in monopoly,
And hid their sins in philanthropy
The Red Shield’s call, “Integrity for All”!!


Finally nearing the highway’s pinnacle and looming right before us, D.C.’s Donner Pass was abruptly dissected by an intersection completely overshadowed in the sun-blocking silhouettes of four of the world’s tallest buildings, one standing on each corner. They blocked out the sunlight like the ninth plague. As we tried to move forward, our car unbelievably stalled right in the middle of the intersection, right in the middle of the darkness. None of this seemed to phase the four boys, however, who collectively shrieked “We’re Home!” And without so much as a thank you or backward glance, those four boys spun out of our car like a pinwheel, each whirligigging toward a different corner and its own respective Big House.

The problem is, as we sat there in the dark, we never saw who took the piggybank. Did you?


For more Bush-Whacking, see our ‘In The Rear View Mirror’ September 20, 2008 posting "Whiplashed or Bush-Whacked?"

1 comment:

  1. And here we are, several months down the road, and I believe everyone can say with certainty that CitiBank (or should I say CitiGombeens?) wasn't the boy who took off with the bank.

    ReplyDelete

This is where our backseat drivers can give a shout out from the back of the bus.